Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize