They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
