the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
