You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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