I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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