Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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