I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
