Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
