Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
