I heard we made out
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize