Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
