Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
