I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
