so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
