Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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