I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
