he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
