my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
