yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
do herpes really smell.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
