I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
