Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize