He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
