he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
