is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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