What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
