what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
