the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
