All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
