I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
