piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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