JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
