Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
