were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
