I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
