as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
