I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
