I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
