lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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