this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
