I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
