My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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