my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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