so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
