why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
