Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize