Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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