The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
