so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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