I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
