I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
