Whod you bang
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
