We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
