I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
