I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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