to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
