he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
