all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
