New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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