two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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