Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He better not be in your backpack
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize