I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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