dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
